my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
