haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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