doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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