Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
