theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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