he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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