Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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