Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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