Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries