how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.