Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.