They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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