Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
