so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
