the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
