If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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