So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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