I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize