Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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