Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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