i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
this beer tastes like vomit already
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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