is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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