Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize