Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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