he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
