I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
either way he was missing a nipple.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
