oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
