you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
