Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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