does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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