Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
bring money and cleavage
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize