you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Randomize
