drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
