Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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