did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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