But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
