google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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