yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Alive.
So much puke
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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