have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
