spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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