i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I need to stop coming to work sober
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
