you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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