don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
