There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize