i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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