Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
