we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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