I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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