Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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