i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
