It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
