South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
