it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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