New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
