in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just had sex on a roof
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
