I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize