If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
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She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
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Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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