So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize