so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The power of my boobs compel you
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
