What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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