Apparently you make a good broom.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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