ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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