I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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