She's JV to your varsity
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
