five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
