Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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